by The Party Fairy
I read this morning that an exhibition by the controversial conceptual artist brothers, Jake and Dinos Chapman, is going to be in Leeds for the next few weeks. ‘My Giant Colouring Book’ is at Leeds College of Art from 14 September to 9 October.
The Chapman brothers were part of the Young British Artists movement in the early 1990s, and since then they’ve created some controversial works which include representations of torture and disfigurement.
I’m not much of an art buff, but if I were a bit closer to Leeds, that’s an exhibition I’d definitely like to see. One whiff of the word ‘controversial’ and my ears prick up!
I always thought my daughter would be a professional artist. From the day she drew her first wobbly little goat (as a toddler, most of her drawings were of either goats or cats - no idea why) I could see that Emily had inherited her father’s artistic abilities.
Below is an abstract piece that Emily created when she was 9 years old. I love it - it’s been hanging, framed, on my wall ever since she brought it home from school ten years ago.
Until a few months ago, Emily going to university to study for her BA in illustration (she really wanted to illustrate children’s books) seemed a dead cert. She’d already spent two years at college, studying for her BTEC National Diploma in Art and Design, and she had a place waiting for her at uni. Then she took a year out, to enjoy a bit of “me time” (which basically means “watching Jeremy Kyle and playing Sims 3″) and after a year of that, she’s now decided she’s not ready for uni yet.
There’s been a lot of discussion about it in our house, most of it quite heated. Emily says she’s realised that if she gets an art degree, it’s not going to help her get a decent job afterwards. She says she’d rather take A Levels in academic subjects - perhaps history and psychology - and then take a degree course later, in a subject that’s more likely to help her to get started in a good career. I think that’s rather a wise decision.
My husband and my dad, who’s staying with us at the moment, have both nagged her to just go to uni now, take the course she’s been offered, and be grateful that she’s got the opportunity to go at all; a degree is a degree no matter what the subject, if you don’t go to uni you’re a waster, blah blah blah.
But while I’d love to see my daughter go to uni and get a degree (I didn’t do it myself, and I wish I had), I can totally see her side of the argument; why get into thousands of pounds of debt to study a subject that isn’t likely to lead to a career?
The subject has been done to death recently, and poor Emily is thoroughly fed up with all the lectures. I can’t say I blame her. It’s difficult enough when you’re not sure what you want for your future career, without having people nagging on at you to make a decision - and a decision that you’ll probably end up regretting, at that.
I’ve not been immune from being nagged, either. Apparently it’s a terrible thing that I’m not pushing her into uni, and not forcing her to do a course that she’s changed her mind about. What an evil, useless mother I must be!
But as far as I’m concerned, what mothers do best - or SHOULD do best, anyway - is support their children. Whatever decisions our kids make, good or bad, sensible or daft, we’re on hand to wipe away their tears, share their joy, and be there for them when they need us.
My own parents are habitual naggers. They’ve never been very good at praising anything I’ve achieved - but they’ve been fantastic at criticising my mistakes.
So I’ve made a decision: whatever Emily ends up doing with her career - world-famous artist or best shelf stacker in Tesco - I’m not going to be like my parents. I’m not going to nag. I’m not going to lecture. I’m just going to support Emily’s decisions, wherever they take her, and make sure she knows that I’m proud of her no matter what.
When you’re a parent, the line between supporting and nagging is a very fine one. Sometimes it takes a huge amount of effort to avoid crossing that line. Hopefully, Emily will soon make a decision that she’s happy with… and until then, I’m staying on my tiptoes!